My Descent Into Madness

Well, the holidays are over; no surer sign of that than heading back to school and driving by the Christmas Tree graveyard in the parking lot of the mall. The snow is continuing to fall, but it somehow isn't quite as endearing as it was last month. These early winter months have a tendency to be drab due to the weather and because we get back into our routines again, so I've decided to try something new to spice up my own life. It's not a New Years resolution, more like a willing descent into madness; as of the 3rd, I've been a vegetarian.

vegetarian
- noun

A person who does not eat or does not believe in eating meat, fish, fowl, or, in some cases, any food derived from animals, as eggs or cheese, but subsists on vegetables, fruits, nuts, grain, etc.

Though I prefer Urban Dictionary's definition:

vegetarian
- noun

A bad hunter. Someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.

I enjoy meat. A medium-rare steak. A grilled burger. Sushi rolls. Tempura shrimp. Barbecue chicken. The list goes on. For me, it's not even so much the taste of the meat, fish or poultry; I enjoy the act of cooking itself (or more often, the act of watching cooking), and a large part of this is the variety of ways that meat can be prepared. If you strip the meat out of a meal, you are usually left with something pretty uninteresting in my opinion. For a similar reason, it's also just a lot harder to come up with meals without a central meat to base them around (trust me, as I've been doing this all week-- with the help of my adoring mom). No longer can you just choose a meat and pair some agreeable sides with it-- you have to rethink the entire process of constructing the meal.

So why am I doing this again?


A couple weeks ago during the winter break, I was chatting with my friend Lana who was reading one of those awful books about how eating meat is bad for you. It supposedly details the ill health effects, mistreatment of animals, and damage to our ecosystem that come from a carnivorous diet. We got to talking about it, and she mentioned that she had considered in the past trying a vegetarian diet to see what it was like. It wasn't long after that that a challenge was posed, and the stakes set: starting January 3rd, no more meat of any kind was to be eaten (dairy and eggs still permitted). The winner gets a dinner on the loser's dime, presumably one that has a large portion of meat in it.

I steeled my will in the days leading up the the 3rd. In preparation, I made veggie sandwiches to acclimate my body to what I had in store for myself. With the groundwork set, all that remained was my inevitable victory over Lana. A choice Kramer quote came into my mind as I said to myself that "I don't back off... until it's finished."

Sure, there have been bumps along the way. The second day of the contest, I was feeling really drained for some reason. Maybe it wasn't actually a result of the lack of meat; maybe it was a mental thing, or perhaps I simply didn't eat enough that day. Other roadblocks include my parents who tell me daily that I'm not eating enough, or that what I'm doing isn't healthy (my dad actually offered me money to stop at one point). Despite these though, I've found the whole process relatively easy to handle. I rarely think about what I'm missing, and the meals that I'm eating have been healthy and tasty for the most part. I'm a little concerned about the balance of nutrients I'm taking in right now since there is a void that was previously occupied by meat, but once I look into that, I feel as if I could go on forever. That's right Lana, if you are reading this: I can go on forever.

I sound like I'm down on vegetarianism in this post, so I just want to clarify that that isn't the case. While I personally believe in a balanced diet of foods-- and I plan on returning to one that includes meat-- there are legitimate reasons for cutting it out of your diet. To those people, I say all the best. For the interim, we are brothers, and I am walking in your footsteps.